We have been asking that people share their survival stories with us (check HERE), some people have reached out and we hope their stories will isnpire you. Habiba is one of those. Read more…
I never thought that I would do this. I mean I don’t like talking about this. I guess you might want to hear the story first. Of course, afterwards you’ll know why I feel this way. Thank you @AyodejiOsowobi for letting me tell my story.
Hello, I am Habiba, I am not really sure how I should start. It has taken me a long time to convince myself to tell someone my story. I am doing this because I believe it will help anyone who has gone through something similar to accept that it was not their fault and help them move on. Well, this is the story of a rape survivor.
It happened when I was 13. I was walking home from a friend’s house after a tutorial class and suddenly, a car pulled up beside me. Four guys about college age or older jumped out of the car and pulled me in. While in the car, they punched me in the face and choked me with one of their belts.
After a while, they pulled off the road and into a field where they dragged me out of the car, and kept on hitting me. They kicked me in the ribs over and over, and shoved dirt down my mouth. Then they tied my arms behind my back and my feet to small trees so my legs were spread apart. I knew what they were going to do and I fought as hard as I could, but they just kept hitting me. All four raped me and did as much damage as they could possibly do.
Afterwards they got back in their car and left, I had been unconscious long before it was over. I woke up in the hospital a few days later, I had severe internal damage. Although my father was outraged, my mother told me that I should just pretend that it never happened, not to press charges or even try to find who the guys were. Hmmmmm!
Fast forward and we are a few years down the line. By some cruel trick or twist of fate, I was set up to be raped by a friend. God, I really hope this helps somebody. I don’t even know how it happened. I was drugged in my own room and 3 guys had their way with me.
Today physically I’ve made a full recovery, but emotionally I am still shaky. I have attempted suicide several times, life can’t possibly be any worse. I cry every night for hours on end, I just need to be redeemed. I mean “Who is going to pay for this?”
Some of the things that see me through each day are MY HOLY BOOK, the music by Whitney Houston titled ‘Greatest Love of All’ , ‘Each Tear’ by Mary .J. Bilge and ‘Stronger’ by Kelly Clarkson. These three songs have made me realize that it is okay to be angry.
My mother and siblings have helped me accept who I am and what has happened to me. Thank you Mummy, you are the best mom ever :D, Mind you, this is how I found the Peace in me. I love listen to the radio. Thanks to my big aunty and friend, INYA ODE she made me to ‘Forgive All My Rapists.’ She worked with a radio station in the Federal Capital Territory, and it was in 2011 or 2012, I think. The show was called, SundayMelodies and her topic that day was all about forgiveness. She was so happy then, but she never Knew I Am a Rape Survivor.
Yes, I still have anger, resentment, hatred, disgust and everything else that one can have over what happened to me. I am so glad that some of you have found that peace. I am still working to get there and I know that one day I will find that peace by the grace of God. I have realized now that indeed I WAS A VICTIM but IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. I have a long journey ahead of me. I know my mess will always be a message to so many people.
After crying to set myself free, I decided to forgive everyone who has hurt me one way or the other, including my Father who abandoned me and my mother for 15years, when everything happened.
Thanks aunty, God bless your generation. Thanks to every survivor out there who has shared their story. The likes of @Bunmicake have helped me so much even just by helping me know there are others like me. Be strong and God bless you.
I dedicate this survivor story to my beloved twin sister, she is late now and I pray her soul continues to rest in peace.
Words on Marble:
IF YOU ARE A RAPE SURVIVOR, PLEASE LET GO OF ALL THE PAINS. IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT…
So guys, we will be having a tweet session with @Abdulhabiba12 soonest, so please follow our twitter handle @AyodejiOsowobi and stay tuned to hear her speak more about this issue.