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My Childhood Sex Play Part 2: The Conclusion

My Childhood Sex Play Part 2: The Conclusion
November 29, 2013 STER

This is the concluding part of our session on “Child Sex Play.” If you missed the first part, lucky you, you can read it HERE. We hope you are enlightened and pay adequate attention to your kids, despite your busy schedule. Read more below…

“I do not know exactly how long we played the game but it must have gone on regularly for three/four weeks. I stopped at some point, while they continued. They were eventually caught by a neighbor, who lectured us on our act and did us a favor of not reporting to our parents. We were just children playing a game and no parent would assume that their child learned such things and for that, I would never blame them.

I rarely think about what happened now and even when I do, the memories are quickly overpowered by disbelief, like “Did that really happen?”

It took many years for me to understand that what happened when I was a child does not have any bearings for my future. For many years, I was scared to talk about it with anyone because I felt abnormal and ashamed. Eventually, I came to understand that there is no profound ‘reason’ that I spent a little part of my childhood this way. I learned not to blame myself or anyone else for it. I only choose not to tell my parents because of the risk that they will blame themselves. There was no way for them to stop what was happening and with the wonderful life and love they have given me, I would never want them to feel a shred of guilt.

I struggle to find the ‘meaning’ behind this but at the same time. I know that it has left a footprint on my character. The only thing I can do with my story is share it and accept that it is mine. It is the most human part of my experience, the permanent question mark in my life story. Even if I do not ever tell my story to another soul, I will continue to wrestle through layers of my shame to claim it.

Please let’s pay attention to what our children watch and what kind of “plays” they get involved in. They are our future, please pay attention to them.

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