It’s not normal!
Do you have those conversations with you friends/family who in trying to say the right thing just say the wrong thing. I had a conversation today with one of them after a really tough therapy session and I was explaining how I was feeling, now it’s actually not that often that I speak to them about it anymore, I just don’t bother and just keep everything for my therapist and today I was reminded why!
I was explaining to her that I had a tough session and was telling her that I was really really triggered for the first time, And that my therapist said that this was part of the healing process, well anyway my friend said yes it’s all normal and you’ll get there and the way she said it I found really patronising, I know that she would never mean to come across that way but sometimes I feel like saying to people – don’t tell me what I’m feeling or that it’s normal or whatever, you don’t know… You don’t know what’s this is like and just because something is ‘normal’ doesn’t mean that it’s not absolute hell to go through, it’s painful, hard, frustrating, scary, soul destroying, life destroying so sorry but it’s not bloody normal. It’s might be a ‘normal’ reaction to a completely and hugely abnormal situation but it’s by no means normal!
Just listen to me and give me a hug if I need it, don’t just brush it off and tell me it’s normal and it will be all better some day, because none of this is ever going to be normal to me! Please don’t ignore Rape survivors, they Need You Around! Straight from HABIBA’s heart.